


Looking In

by TheonSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Aaron meets a new face at the Dingle home, he realizes how much the family has changed...even as his own role in it never does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking In

The first thing Aaron noticed when he walked into Wishing Well, for the first time in what felt like years, was the smell.

It wasn’t the industrial-type cleaner Lisa used (mostly since she was too busy for anything else).

It was some type of scented candle.

He didn’t like it.

He liked it even less when he saw the woman sitting at a desk, writing a letter, probably perfect penmanship, with glasses firmly in place.

Reminded Aaron of a teacher - he’d never liked them much either. 

“I must be nice to look at,” she said, eyes still on the paper, after about five minutes.

Aaron stammered a response, eyes on the floor, feeling like the teenager who’d first stopped in this place such a long time ago.

“Just waitin’ to see our Belle,” he finally managed to say.

She put the pen down, briskly walking over to him and extending her hand. 

“I’m Joanie. I’ll have to do for now.”

He shook, afraid he’d break her fingers from whatever weird nerves he had going on.

“You have to admit it’s nicer on the nose than stale lager.”

Aaron pulled his hand back, smelling the sleeve of his jumper. 

“Happen to live in a pub.”

She laughed, deep from her chest, and if he knew her, he might’ve joined in. As it was he felt like she was laughing at him.

“I meant your Uncle Zak.”

If she thought Zak was heavy on the beers now, she should’ve seen him years ago…or Shadrach for that matter.

But she couldn’t know any of that, had no way of knowing. She was an outsider.

Almost as much as he was.

She looked at him the way teachers always had…like he was a “loose cannon.”

He hated it.

“Why don’t I whip up some…”

Aaron scrunched up his nose.

“No ta. Don’t wanna invade your happy home.”

She looked confused, so he kept going, even when he didn’t want to.

“Sure ya heard all about me, right? Afraid I’ll grab a knife or summat? Seen your lot. Don’t need to see it again. Tell Belle I was here.”

Before he could go, she grabbed the sleeve of his jumper, didn’t flinch, the way his teachers always had.

“The only thing I ‘know’ about you is that Belle thinks the world of you and wanted me to meet you, but you never seemed to have time.”

That stung Aaron, if Belle thought he was avoiding her. It wasn’t that…it was just…so much had changed, even if he really hadn’t. 

“I thought…I mean…you’d heard ‘bout me and…”

Robert. Robert. Robert.

“Andy and Vic’s brother.”

She laughed, even deeper this time.

“I’m the last person to talk about an affair with a married man…especially since I’d probably do the same all over again.”

He relaxed, just a little inside, but enough to where she seemed less of a threat and more of someone he might know one day.

“Now how about some biscuits? Kyle keeps using them to throw at the dogs - I’m not sure if that’s my cooking or if he’s just a terror.”

Kyle ran into the room then, looking so much like Cain - or who Cain used to be, anyway, when he was a kid and Cain could make him laugh or run in terror depending on the minute (of course Cain could still do that…).

It just reinforced for Aaron, even as he accepted Kyle’s hug, that so much had changed, left him behind. The cobwebs Lisa could never reach, the way she’d yell at Zak for being shifty, Sam parked in front of the telly, Shadrach sleeping off a hangover next to the dogs, Belle and her sums…nothing was the same now. It was some family he’d looked in on, only they were gone now, split into a million pieces. The only thing that was the same was he still couldn’t get in.

“Tell Belle I’ll pop back in soon,” he half-lied, patting Kyle’s head like a dog even knowing he’d hated that when he’d been Kyle’s age.

“I will,” Joanie replied, wisely not trying to talk him ‘round. “Just stay here a second with Kyle.”

He knelt down to Kyle’s level, pulling faces and letting Kyle punch his shoulders.

“Gonna be a bruiser, just like…”

He stopped when he saw Joanie back, face blank at mention of Cain.

He let Kyle run to her skirts when she handed him a worn paperback.

“On the Road…” he said, knowing it vaguely even before he skimmed the back, noticing the crude graffiti marring some of the last few pages.

“Never heard of it,” he lied. “If this is ‘cos it’s about bein’ gay…”

“I thought you’d never heard of it?” she smiled.

His pride kept him quiet, but he knew she had him.

“It’s not about bisexuality or homosexuality, unless you want it to be. And if you do, there’s nothing wrong with that, Aaron.”

He bristled slightly at her use of his name, because that did remind of his teachers, but more like the ones who gave a damn, because they were the ones he hated thinking about the most. The ones he’d always let down.

“It’s about freedom…a journey. As I’m on a new journey of my own, I think I can spot a kindred spirit.”

He was about to toss it on the table, but somehow slid it into his jeans pocket instead.

“Fine,” was the best he could offer.

“It’s a little pretentious, I should warn,” she whispered like a scandalous secret. 

Aaron allowed a small smile before he left. 

“Think I can manage it.”

As he began the walk back to his car, he could hear Kyle laughing and clapping his hands through the door.

He was glad someone would be able to see this place as a home.


End file.
